#WHATSHOULD BETCHESCALLME

When two girls I don’t like get in a drunken argument

Wearing crocs or uggs

When I have to go to a wedding without a +1

When I see my crush at the beach before my bikini body is ready

When I actually log on to facebook for the first time in over a month

When I look back at my middle school hairstyles

When my coworker and I have to work through lunch

When a guy I’m not even remotely into tries to go in for a kiss

When I step on the scale and see the highest number I’ve ever seen